bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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