guys are only as good as the porn they watch
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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