there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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