I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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