You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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