so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Randomize