I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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