His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
