Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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