I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
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Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
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