I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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