I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
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