Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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