I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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