i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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