i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize