See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
