Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
