I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
