She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
