Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
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