How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
