All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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