and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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