She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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