She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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