the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize