we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
