Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
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