If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
