I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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