You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
