Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
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