Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
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