One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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