Heybabeimwearingurpanties
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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