I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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