For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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