Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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