I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I made him laugh his dick is mine
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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