my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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