Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize