remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
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