This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Randomize
