well I can't set my house on fire every night
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Randomize
