Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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