Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
