Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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