1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
