He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
