put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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