I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Dicks are not precious.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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