so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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