The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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