i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
