im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
