wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
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just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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