So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
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