obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Randomize
